Overboard, frying pan to fire?

I am a bit overwhelmed of recent. I can't help but feel as if everything is falling apart for me (though nothing outside is evident to the affirmation of this thought). I can't explain it though. I am doing a Business Law class right now and no matter how I ask, the instructor doesn't give me much more explanation of the assignments due than is given in the syllabus provided. If you ask me, the syllabus is writen in Greek as is the entire subject of "Business Law"...

By the way, no news of Germany... but... we will see tomorrow.

Life in Limbo..

I hate bureaucracies and red tape... Here I have been waiting for two to three weeks to know the details of when I will be (and I will be) going to Germany and it all comes down the bureaucracies of Government Procurement... I could be leaving tomorrow, I could be leaving in two weeks! I HATE BEING IN LIMBO!!!

My friend..

I just found out (a few days after the fact) that my friend has decided that this year in Colorado will be his one and only...

If he is happy, then I am happy... that doesn't take away how much I will miss him. We have been friends for a long time now... granted most of the time he has lived in another state, but I never give up on my friends even though they may give up on me.

Let me clear this one thing up though. I do not think that he has given up on me.. I have however had a few that did. From suck experiences in my life I have garnered a sort of unease... One such friend, I lovingly call my "Pavilion Girl" Years ago we were very close... I felt she was the only one who understood exactly who I was and why I did the things I did. She never lived close to me for any amount of time. She and I were penpalls and would on occation communicate via long distance telephone calls late into the night just to chat. I was 15 back then and was excited to actually have a meaningful friendship with someone of the opposite sex. The fact that I had shared with her every cubic inch of my soul and she had seen every facet of my existance (though from a distance) made what happened all that much more scaring... one day I simply recieved an e-mail saying that she wanted nothing else to do with me and that she never wanted to hear from me again. She rejected me.. she rejected all that she knew of me which was everything.

What all this has to do with Kr5is deciding to go back to Utah is simply this... as sad as this sounds, the trueth is, he is the only friend that I have left from before I got married, is the only other person other then my wife that has some understanding of who I really am and why I am who I am. He knows that I love him and will miss him when he leaves but... like I said before, I don't give up on friends.

Dave

Germany

Three months in Germany. That is where I will be in just a week. I am going to have to leave my wife home at least for a short time... I will miss her. I am excited none the less, after all... I will have the oportunity to visit a major Temple of my church that is located in Frankfurt.

My wife is having second thoughts about me leaving... afraid of being away from me for the first time in the 3 years that we have been married. The longest time apart since we first dated is only 1 week.

Dave

To know me.. know my writing..

I have always been one to write... I am not one adept to spoken words and so am unable to express who and what I am in voice. This is an old poem... April 28, y2k to be exact; my soul is in this and others like it. As this subject implies, to know me one must know my writings. How far down the rabit hole do you want to go?

            Engulfed in Grief


        My sailboat skimmed
          across the lake
                    when thunder struck
                      with the brilliance of your
                   bright     blue      eyes.
            As far away I glide from you.
                   Playing my mahogony guitar
             in the ditch of all reality
         the gutter.... of the sidewalk.
        Why
      do I run?
        These feelings
           inside burst forth as a
          f  l  a  t       t  i  r  e
        on the freeway of life
                 yet
                   I deny
              the pile of bones
                  that
            this mistake
                  of mine has caused.
                       It's as if my life
                             were writen on CD;
                   f  o  r  e  v  e  r    a  b  l  e
               to be accessed in my thoughts.
                This old clock
             keeps tick-ing-a-way
          in its tower while orange
                   clouds
                      hale lightning down
                   upon my
          "Boat of life" till
            C R A S H ! ! ! !
             A rock
           burning, sinking
                  like a mountain fire to the
          old    log   cabin.
    E  N  G  U  L  F  E  D    I N    G  R  I  E  F

Just for something new..

I've decided to start this blog. Why? Who knows. I guess you could say that I wanted to have something to express my thoughts on and not have repercussions (if that really exists).

I am Dave. Just Dave. Those who know me either love or hate me. He or she who reads this blog will soon end up one way or another taking their place in the ranks of one or the other of the two contending sides. Just a warning...

Dave